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Posts Tagged ‘psychologist’

Q: Why Do Buses Come In Threes?

With very little to take me out of the house, my days have been melding into each other, each one with its own small challenges to surmount – food, washing, keeping the electric meter fed with credit.

And now suddenly everything else has come up at once.

I have…

  • Tonight until the weekend – time with my grandma and parents
  • 6th September – appointment with my old psychiatrist to see if she would be willing to back my application for ESA, despite having told me I should look for work last time she saw me.
  • 10th September – appointment to have two tenacious baby teeth removed, as some sort of “gentle introduction” into having dental work done.
  • 13th September – appointment with a “mental health practitioner” from the PCMHT for an initial assessment (same as in May 2008), as a response to my psychology referral.
  • 16th September – appointment for my ESA medical

Since I don’t seem to have the option of just sleeping through the next fortnight (doubly true while I’m being more insomniac than usual), I fear the next two weeks are going to be lurching from one raw wound to another. I shouldn’t cancel the dental appointment – delaying it is only going to make me more nervous about it, but I don’t think I can cope with worrying about it on top of everything else. Also, physical pain tends to make me forget everything mental related for a while – which is perhaps not what I want directly before two assessments where, in some wierd sense, I need to be as mental as possible in order to get a positive outcome.

Sheesh, I sound like I’m faking it just for the money. Since I started applying for benefit I’ve become a lot warier of things like that – it’s hard not to be, in the current climate, with news articles like this and this (by the way, my grandma reads the Torygraph).

Especially since I’m much better and should be applying for work, right?

Also, how do I explain to my (generally disbelieving) parents that my psychiatrist discharged me and told me I’m much better but I’m seeing her again because I’m applying for sickness benefit?

If only real life worked the same way that we all think the systems should work.


A: Because travelling alone is dangerous

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Got the reply to my DLA application today.

I’ve been awarded middle rate care and lower rate mobility

Hard not to feel like I’m a fraud, especially since, as my psych reminded me last week, I don’t have a “severe and enduring mental illness”, and thus can’t get any help from the NHS except what I have atm (3 monthly psych appointments and an infinite waiting list for therapy in primary care that I was put on over a year ago).

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What to do when the PCMHT don’t want you because you’re too severe but not severe enough for the CMHT?

Blue Skies and Green Grass

I think I may have found this out, at long last.

Dropping down to crisis point seems to have mobilised referrals and people in a way that would never have happened otherwise. The crisis team are on the verge of discharging me, but I now hold promises of a referral to both the Primary Care Clinical Psychology service and to a psychiatrist for regular follow-up over my meds – so I suspect I shall be seeing that blue-green waiting room a few more times. Unlike last time, they are insisting on creating a crisis plan with me before discharge.

Both my worker at the young people’s place and the crisis team have independently expressed the idea that they should talk to the other side. Whether that phone call has actually been made, I don’t know, but I know that my worker was very keen on putting her head together with them/my GP before I’m discharged, and working out a way that she and my GP can keep me from “falling through the net”… like I very nearly did this month.

Frankly, if they do talk to each other, I will be A) amazed, but also B) relieved. I’ve gotten fed up of playing the chinese whispers game, and of forever being the one to relay information between services. Yes, I realise that there is an issue of confidentiality here, but there is some automatic liason between NHS services that simply doesn’t happen between my worker and those same services. When I was discharged from the hospital, one of the nurses there gave (after asking my permission) my worker a phonecall to explain what had happened, and followed it up by faxing a letter that she could keep in my records. Sure, it was a simple thing, but it made the world of difference to me at a very vulnerable time – I did not need to explain the details yet again, or even work out how to broach the subject… instead the time of our session together was freed up for deeper conversation. I did not need to say anything, because she knew, and she understood.

So, this seems to be where I stand now: freed of the PCMHT, and with a potential pic n’mix from both primary and secondary care (as, to be fair, I expect most people have).

I hope it doesn’t all go back-end-up again, but I really do fear that it may.


NB: I’m drafting a post to try and explain what was going on in my mind and in my life prior to this post, which might help make more sense of my posts since, but I haven’t really wrapped my head round it yet myself, so it will be a while in the coming.

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