Still fueled up on the sugar from the remainder of my pic ‘n mix, I’m going to admit to how truely pathetic I am how much I’ve let depression impact my life…
Forget the “getting a job” thing – that’s important, yes, but the following are my three major I-want-to-improve-my-quality-of-life goals for the summer:
- Get my computer fixed
- Have a haircut
- Register with a dentist
I should perhaps explain a little :
EDIT: Clipped the moaning
Getting my computer fixed
I do actually have a working computer… but the one that’s broken is my main one. It broke down (ironically) just after I did, but unlike me is still very broken. I had a little scare last year where I thought the motherboard had gone, but once I perked up enough to get round to looking at it, it turned out that the graphics card just wasn’t seated properly… this time I think it has. I want a new one really, but with my parents already strongly disapproving of what I’ve done recently, I don’t want to add that to their list of Things To Moan At Me For. I’d try and fix it myself, but I just don’t have any spare parts knocking about other than a better CPU I meant to install (but kept forgetting to), so it seems easier to pay large amounts of money for the priviledge of having someone else swap parts in and out. Plus, my parents would approve more of that (yes, I need to get a backbone, but having stood up to my parents on the whole “dropping out of uni is best for me” thing, I’m not sure I have the confidence to pull it off with this as well).
Trouble is, I have really no idea who’s good round here, and whether I should take it into a shop / the uni IT people (this really would be the best solution, but I don’t know anyone with a car to transport the damn thing :-?), or get someone to come round to mine (this would be the easiest, but I’d have to do some serious cleaning up of my room first as it still looks like someone turned it upside down and shook it), and get used to the idea of someone invading my safe place.
Getting a haircut
Again, this is something that I feel shouldn’t be that hard… but it’s actually quite a hairy problem for me (ha ha). I don’t have the confidence to go and book an appointment with my hair as-is. My hair is long, very curly, and prone to split ends. Apply depression to the mix, and you have a recipe for matted hair. Noone can tell, because I keep the outside of the mats brushed, and some strands are free, but most of my hair is matted into a large lump. I simply can’t wear my hair down – it has to be in a ponytail except for sleep. I do know how to unmat it, and I’ve started on one side, but it’s such a long job that I keep loosing the enthusiasm for it very quickly.
I haven’t had a haircut in about 7 years.
I haven’t even washed my hair in over a year, because that makes the matting worse 😳
Registering with a dentist
I don’t think this one really needs explaining. Similiar to my hair – my teeth have also been neglected, and are, quite frankly, falling to bits in my mouth. For various reasons, I’m even more scared of having an appointment with the dentist than with a hairdresser, so this is a lower goal (made rather hard by the infamous shortage of NHS dentists).
I don’t really know what I can do about any of these TBH, other than follow my counsellor’s advice about the best way to eat an elephant (one bit at a time, ha ha).
But it makes me feel better that I have them as goals. It feels like the first step in getting out of this mess I’ve made for myself.
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