We Admitted We Were Powerless… that our lives had become unmanageable.

They tried to catch a falling star. Thinking that she had gone too far. She did but kept it hidden well. Until she cracked and then she fell. If all the history is true. She’s gonna end up just like you. You made it to the other side. But tell me who will be my [...]

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NHS Dont-istry

Sadly, as I’ve mentioned before, some of my teeth are, quite literally half what they used to be. When I was a kid I had no such problem – not boasting, but my milk teeth were perfect, as were my adult teeth for the first few years. However, what’s now nearly a decade (eek!) of [...]

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Good Riddance to 2008

Christmas is over (almost), family arguments have broken out at the other end of the house, and I’m trying to revise. Christmas was good in the end, though the turkey was undercooked, and I only had a couple of presents to unwrap. The biggie was a new graphics card for my computer, which will indeed [...]

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What is Depression, Anyway?

So… I’ve not done anything particularly crazy since July; I’ve not felt particularly crazy since sometime in August. Things are fairly obviously improved (thanks to the Mirtazzy), and I can finally be trusted to use sharp implements sensibly – rather than running them lightly down my arm while trying to size up where and how [...]

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Then and Now

I suppose it’s natural that I keep comparing “now” with “then”. It’s like one of those chidren’s picture books, that show both ye olde street scene (with lamplighters and hackney carriages) and a modern metropolis, and the reader is asked to spot the differences. Trouble is though, I can’t quite untangle things. The Mirtazzy, my [...]

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When the Scars Are Inside, You Can’t Pick Them Off and Eat Them

Soundbite from a conversation I had on Sunday… It’s… like… I grew up thinking the world works one way, but now I’ve grown up and it doesn’t, it works another way – and now I feel I’ve lost those years that I could have had learning to fit in this world I don’t subscribe to [...]

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I’m So Happy (for a change)

Yeah, that’s an odd post title for a blog about depression, but things have been going well these past two days, and I’ve been spending so much time with people. I actualy think this might mean that I’ve regained “normalilty”. There’s a line from a hymn – “Mornings of joy give for evenings of tearfulness, [...]

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Depression, Visually (and some success with the job-thing)

I forgot to say (think I was too lethargic…), I got the job! Hurrah! I’m having trouble getting very excited about it, possibly because of how far away it is, but other people have been reminding me how great it is that I did, so, errr… yay and stuff? Still don’t have anything to do [...]

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“What I Did This Summer”… perhaps

Still fueled up on the sugar from the remainder of my pic ‘n mix, I’m going to admit to how truely pathetic I am how much I’ve let depression impact my life… Forget the “getting a job” thing – that’s important, yes, but the following are my three major I-want-to-improve-my-quality-of-life goals for the summer: Get [...]

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Relapse and Recurrence

Just as I thought you’d gone, You come again The old familliar pain, Burning within me, Moving though me. Out of the night you come, Touching me gently Like an old friend. Repelled, I reach out my hand And draw you in, Feeling you as part of me Knowing who I am (poem from here) [...]

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